Seeker

As I frantically google search blog post ideas (for example, when I completely forget I have a blog then remember I skipped the day I planned to post), I see a lot of one-word prompts. Glancing over them, nothing really caught my attention, but I remember in my second period noticing a word that caught my eye. While I blankly stare off in class, I often see a book called The Water Seeker on the shelf across the room from my seat. It has a pretty cover and, as a word lover trying to write poetry while blocking out my teacher, I was interested in using the word seeker and scribbled it in my notebook for a later idea. Are there any writers out there who do similar things? Seriously. Let me know if I’m weird or not.

So, here is my response to the word seeker:

I suppose I consider myself a seeker. But of what? All I know is I feel a longing in my chest—in my core. So I must be seeking something, right? Happiness, maybe. I just know that this word resonates with me. I long to leave the place I’m in. It feels as if in my short time of living here, I’ve already exhausted its possibilities. I seek because as a kid, it was always forced down our throats to dream big, and to believe that we can become whatever we want to be. When I was little, I had such high hopes. I guess we all do. Now that I’m approaching the end of my school career, the kid in me still hopes and expects something great. Really, the kid in me expected to be something great by this point, I imagine. But the pessimist in me just doesn’t believe that will happen. The doubt in me hangs on my shoulders and follows me around. Of course I’m seeking. Under all the doubt and cynicism, I still hope, as any human would. Isn’t that a human trait? When we’re in a bad situation, we hope something will happen to get us out of it. We don’t always do something, but we hope. Maybe I’m seeking because I’m not doing. Maybe I’m wishing for something better instead of creating something better, instead of ensuring myself something better. The little kid in me is still there, too comfortably, in me. She sits and daydreams, ignoring responsibility, oblivious to problems—she’s a master procrastinator (hence the introduction of this post).

I hope you enjoyed my ramblings of unplanned thoughts this week. Here, I suppose, is an example of one of the wonders of writing: learning more about yourself. It’s fascinating, sometimes, to dive into our own heads and see what we find.

“Nothing will work unless you do.” –Maya Angelou

What ideas the word seeker spark up in your mind? Feel free to respond in the comments or in your own post :)