Responsibility

Every now and again I get in this I-don't-want-to-do-anything, I-hate-making-decisions mood and just want to exist in a black hole or some other void (just me?). So here's a little something I wrote just before going into college about the wonderful opportunity that we have to create our own lives and why we shouldn't fear our futures.

Responsibility.

It shouldn’t be something we shy away from or fear. It’s a sign of being an individual; it’s proof that you can think and exist independently. It’s freedom, really. Life is like a blank canvas. I’m so scared to put paint down, but the thing is, a good piece of art takes time. It takes drafts, sketches, experimenting, and layers. Surely, the privilege to create my own life, despite the tremendous responsibility that it is, is far better than letting someone else write my story.

Responsibility is in little things. You know, those little things that are actually huge aspects of your life. I love the saying “be responsible for your own peace.” Taking time for silence is so important. We shouldn’t feel pressure to always be busy. Don’t feel guilty for slowing down and taking time to find your peace.* For some, this is prayer. For others, it may be a walk, meditation, or any other form of introspective silence. This modern world puts so much emphasis on busyness. React, react, react. It’s what we’re conditioned to always be doing. In this mindset, peace and silence can be uncomfortable. We can’t be bored. That’s why we have fidget spinners.

J. K. Rowling said, “Be ruthless in protecting writing days.” In the same way, be ruthless in protecting your peace, your practices, even your soul.

Responsibility for your own self is like a project. You have to be constantly building upon yourself and caring for yourself. For example, health is a long-term project affected by the foods we eat, our lifestyle, and our choices. All of our time is time for working on this project of becoming who we want to be—who we’re meant to be.

Of course, I’m not saying a tremendous amount of time needs to be spent on this. Maybe some only need a little time, while remaining conscious of their choices throughout the day. It’s a little weird for me because I want to be my own product, my own work. I not only should work on myself as a person, but I need to work on myself as a writer and as a musician. In this regard, I have been extremely irresponsible. I’ve been foolish. This construction piece can’t grow without work, obviously. It’s amazing how we push the obvious things out of our minds.

I know the satisfaction in creating something physical and being able to stand back and look at it. Even working on these pieces is fun. Yet, I’m not so eager to work on myself. I suppose I need more patience, to keep remembering my goals, and to enjoy the process.

*This is a big theme in Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

“It’s a beautiful day / Don’t let it get away” —U2

Thank you so much for reading! If this made you think or have any other thoughts on the subject, feel free to start a conversation in the comments!

About Learning--Every Day, in Every Thing

This topic has been floating around in my head all summer, and I finally am getting around to posting it. Here are just some of my humble thoughts on learning, staying open, and staying inspired.

Learn every day.

We should not only learn every day, but be able to learn from everything. Keep yourself creative and open.

If you feel like you know everything, you will never get better.

It’s hard to stay humble sometimes, especially in groups. I’ve played guitar for quite a long time, but I always have more to learn when I’m in group situations (jazz band, worship team, etc.). Letting someone help you is showing that you don’t know everything, even if it’s in an embarrassing situation.

In the same vein, being afraid to suck at something is like being afraid you’ll never get better.

I used to only practice singing in my room when nobody was home. I was so afraid because I was so terrible back then. Now I’m in college, and I’m scared all over again because I’m surrounded by such great musicians. But I have to repeat it to myself: being afraid to suck while practicing is being afraid that the practice won’t pay off. I’m using the practice rooms for a reason. Similarly, being afraid to write, or to draw, or to work on anything else, is like being afraid that you won’t do any better. We get better by doing, and going over and over again.

Don’t forget how good it feels to learn something new.

When I started yoga over the summer, I literally wrote in my notebook, “It’s nice to have something physical to practice, to learn a new skill and work with my body.” It felt so good to pick up a new skill, and it felt so good to learn something different. I mean really different. My down-time is primarily composed of music, reading, writing, or, of course, Netflix. New things that I try will include learning piano, painting or drawing, calligraphy, etc. These are all great, but they all fall into a similar creative and stationary genre. Yoga is a completely different realm, where I get a chance to focus on my body, my breath, and my mind. Starting this practice was so refreshing for me.

Examples from YouTube, where I spend a ridiculous amount of time when I could be doing better things…

Braille 5 Easiest Tricks on a Skateboard (Before You Ollie)

The video has really basic things, but they’re things that will get you excited. The point is that learning new things feels good and will keep you motivated. Aaron said you should learn something new every day in skating, even if it’s not a new trick. Maybe you learn what works better after practicing and evaluating your technique. The most important thing is to skate every day.  

Personally, I know I’ve come to a stand-still in my music. I learn new songs, but I don’t always work on new skills and concepts. My guitar and vocal teacher has compared learning to a set of stairs. We work really hard on something, overcome it, and feel really good. Then, we look ahead, and there’s another stair to get up. It never ends, which is both daunting and exciting.

For example, while warming up my voice a few days before writing this, I was doing octave arpeggios (1, 3, 5, 8, 5, 3, 1). Normally I would’ve stopped after going through my usual warm-up routine, but I went back and did them two more times because I wasn’t happy with them. I re-evaluated myself. I fixed them and made them better.

Learning something new doesn’t always mean seeking out new facts. Learning a skill is about critiquing yourself and fixing it. It keeps the old and familiar exciting, and it keeps you from feeling stale in your work.

Peter Draws. Now, I can’t remember what video this was mentioned in, but in one of his anecdotes, he talked about being in a library or a book store—maybe it was even a museum—and seeing a gigantic book about mushrooms. He said that it must have taken so much time and dedication to write that much about mushrooms, and how passionate the author must have been about the subject. He said he didn’t really care for mushrooms, but he loved that book because it was a testament to how much work one person had put into something. I found that very inspiring.

A reoccurring theme in Peter’s videos is to create something. He often says “Create something that wasn’t there before.” That’s the real beauty in any creative endeavor—making something that wasn’t there before. It takes away all of the expectations of what art should be. Art is nothing more than creating something that wasn’t there before, no matter how you go about it.

Among Peter, other art channels, and channels about music, writing, and even skateboarding—pretty much anything—everyone has the same advice: keep doing it. Whatever it is you’re passionate about or want to get better at, keep doing it every day and surround yourself with others who do it well.

Savana Brown. This video discusses creativity and inspiration. Immediately, she addresses that creativity is not as romantic as we think it will be, and that good ideas are often something we work on, rather than being something that’s perfect the first time around. Another great point that she makes is that to be inspired, you should be surrounding yourself with whatever it is you want to do. She says, “You need to immerse yourself in and surround yourself with, you know, people who are really really good at what you do.”

I have always heard English teachers say, “Good readers make good writers,” and it’s true. It’s true for every skill and craft. This connects to the phrase “put good in, get good out.” You will think about the things you bring into your mind and environment. Naturally, having more art, literary works, or music in your environment will cause you to think more often about those things. You can take this a step further and analyze what you like and dislike about a certain piece, creating a learning opportunity, and trying to incorporate that style into your own work.

Take away:

Learn something. Even learn a tiny new fact or new word. Keep opening your mind.

Be conscious of the familiar. Keep learning about what you do, evaluating what you do, and working on improvement. This keeps you fresh, instead of locked into routine. Be careful not to fixate too much on perfectionism, but don’t settle for good enough, either.

Keep doing. Whatever it is you do, keep doing it every day. I included the YouTube examples because they illustrate it so well. Stay passionate, and stay inspired. If you don’t have something specific you do, just do something every day. Go for a walk. Try something. Doodle something. You don’t have to show anyone, but just keep your mind working.

This was part of my motivation for adapting the Inktober challenge for myself. I want to at least work on something every day, even if I don’t finish it.

“Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow.” –Anthony J. D’Angelo

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you found something that can help or inspire you :) Any thoughts, questions, suggestions, please feel free to share in the comments! Also, if you're interested, feel free to check out my music on YouTube.